Thanks to a good friend and regular bar buddy, Jim, I recently read a hilarious article in the Orlando Sentinel entitled, "Wait, you put your dog poo in my trash?" (click here to read the entire article...and I highly recommend it!). Scott Maxwell, the writer of this article, even cited another story in a fairly fru-fru publication entitled, "The ethics of poop disposal." Wait...there are ethics regarding dog shit? Who knew?
This article discusses one of the "hottest debates raging in America" - while you are walking your dog(s), is it ok to put a bag of poop into someone else's trash can? As a professional dog walker, I have wrestled with this conundrum several times and when I saw the article it made me giggle.
On one hand - why not? Trash is trash, right? But on the other hand - the image of poor Kenneth screaming, "YOU SHIT ON MY HOUSE!" in the movie "Can't Buy Me Love," made me think twice. Granted in the movie, the drama ensued because the feces was actually thrown at Kenneth's front door causing it to splatter everywhere. Gross.
But, nevertheless, a poll of over 400 people concluded that two-thirds of those thought it was OK to drop tied bags of doggie doo-doo in other people's trash cans. I believe the key word in my previous sentence was "tied." I would never just drop a raw, exposed, un-bagged doggie butt goblin into someone's can. How rude!!
Other variables that come in to play are:
- Whether the garbage can is empty - when dropped into an empty garbage can, even a tied up colon cupcake will splatter when something heavy (such as a bag of garbage from your kitchen garbage can) is thrown on top of it. I think I speak for everyone when I say that even in a garbage can, no one wants smeared sewer serpents on anything!! Only use another's can ON trash day BEFORE the trash crew comes.
- The time of day - we live in Florida, people! I once forgot a tied-up bag of ca-ca in my car, which slid under my seat and baked in the hot, Summer sun for days. Finally, after days of searching for the source of the smell, I found it and....HOLY SHIT BALLS! Did that stink!! Don't put a steaming bag of toxic turds into someone's garbage can...the heat only magnifies the stench.
- The size of the dog - have any of you ever walked a 190 lb Great Dane? I have. You can't imagine the size, I'm talking three bags. And not the poop bags that you see constantly hanging out of my pockets, tied around the stick shift in my car, and occasionally falling out of my husband's work pant leg as he walks down his office hallway...sorry, Babe. I'm talking Publix-size bags. If your dog's logs require more than one bag, better take it home and deposit in your own can.
So, yes...this is truly a first world problem, but I just finished my taxes, my brain is dead, and I needed something light-hearted to think about. What better topic than poop!!
In addition to reading Scott Maxwell's original article from which this blog spawned, I urge you to click here to see all of the hilarious words that people have used for poop...I'm literally crying over here...ass goblin, keester cakes, sea pickle, produce of Uranus - LOLOLOL!!!
Happy Wednesday, everyone!!
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